2012. 2012...2012? It seems to me like this is the year...The year of what? I really don’t know but I’ve just been getting this feeling..not an uncomfortable one but an anxious...A year that I have a feeling will be a year of breakthroughs if I just put my faith in God and give him my all..Lately it’s been so hard to do so...Moving to a new city, new friends, new school and and new way of life has both been exciting and challenging...I miss home and my family and old way of life, yet I don’t miss what home represented, the last few years at home, the memories were somewhat painful, as I changed as a person and struggled with the things I struggled with and am still struggling with...So lately I’ve been getting weary, believing that God may abandon me or not want to help me in the areas of my life that I so desperately need him..2012, I want it to be year when I fall in love with God, like I never have before, I just want to give my all to him and not think 24/7 about things like relationships and success but just focus on him...Lately I’ve become so caught up and consumed with relationships..I mean as a young woman it’s only natural but I find my self beating my self over it..I’m 20, 21 later on this year and I feel like I’m defective, in the sense that I’ve never been a relationship before...By the world’s standards I’m a rarity and there must be something wrong with me, and so I find myself wanting to seek out a relationship and asking God why me? What’s wrong with me in the sense that I haven’t ever been in one? Yet God seems to be reminding me time and time again that the worlds standards are NOT HIS STANDARDS and that I have to be patient..With so many other things I am not patient in, so I know God is teaching me patience...So in 2012, I want to let go of all these issues I have with relationships and focus on God, focus on allowing him to help me grow in him and become an overall better woman, friend, daughter...I just know that 2012 will be a year of growth and renewal if I just become proactive and reliant on HIM, and let him lead the way, God’s gotten me this far, and I’m not giving up on Him and His blessings, so bring it on 2012, I know through HIM, all things are possible...
Hey girl! this used to be the way I really felt about myself too but asking God to help me put him first has been a great help to me. Trust me, I have never been in a relationship as well and sometimes that is extremely frustrating and negative on your self esteem but I believe that God planned it that way because he wants to bless your future spouse. You are an amazing woman of God and he truly wants to use this season of life to grow you spiritually and prepare for some of the rough and beautiful times ahead. I think sometimes as single women when we are surrounded with amazing guys who we could see being great godly husbands and especially in a church setting where everyone gets married so early, we get so consumed with who God has for us not realizing that GOD HAS SOMEONE FOR US. All we have to do is trust him and I understand that takes time and patience and believe me, in our generation neither is our friend, lol. Release this area of your life to God daily and it gets easier with time. Immerse yourself in the word and in prayer and every time you feel conflicted pray and ask God to renew your mind. I am praying for you girl and if you need to talk, please contact me.love ya
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