Weight
Comes in pounds, kilograms, grams
Different units of measure
Weight
Exertion of gravity
A concept of newton
A simple number
Yet it has so much of an impact
Haha no pun intended
Weight
Such a simple concept
Controls the mind of millions
Dictates so many moods
Actions, decisions
Dictates business aspects
And imprisons minds
Weight
Something that was once a rather
Unimportant concept to me
Yet somehow I found myself
Becoming obsessed, overwhelmed and consumed by it
And the more I thought about it
The more I was convinced I would be happier
If my weight decreased
And it did
For a while I was happier
Felt sexier
Appeared prettier
A better person inside and out
Yet it wasn’t enough
And the more I thought about it
The more desperate I became
The crazier I got
And so the weight went down
Whatever way possible
And yet so did my character
Gone was my classic smile
My laugh, that ringing giggle
Gone was my passion
Gone was my once thought limited confidence
Gone was my sense of hope
For I’d become a light weight
Literally and figuratively
And its taken me this long to
Figure out
I really was happier when my weight
Was greater
I was livlier
Bolder
If you think I’m crazy now then
You should’ve met me 3 years ago
For I was crazier
‘Funner’ and I’m even
Going to dare say prettier
Now all that’s left
Is an empty shell
A struggling soul
A worn out heart
And a fed up
Woman that once seemed to
Have it all except that ‘ideal’ weight
And now even though I’ve achieved the
Ideal ‘weight’, I’ve got nothing to show for it
But resentfulness, spite, anger
Shame, disgust and despair
It’s really a never ending cycle
Yet meet me, chat with me
Greet me and you’d never know
Because I’m good at cracking a smile
Laughing like it’s genuine
As I’ve become so good at hiding
My discontent, sadness
And brokenness
I’ve become an expert
At upholding
This never ending cyclic façade
Because no one seems to see right
Through me
And there’s just sometimes
That I wish for once someone
Somewhere would see
Just once, crystal clear directly
Through me
Maybe they’d see my tears in weight
That I’m constantly holding in
Maybe they’d see an unconfident woman
A broken spirit
A worried soul
Maybe they’d see a lonely girl
That really once was happy...
As for now the concept of happy
Seems so foreign yet so unfinished…
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